You guys! I totally typed this up a month ago and didn't post it! I'm sorry! Enjoy.
I got a text from a wrong number. Rather than explaining that I had no idea what they were talking about, I decided to play along. The following is an exact transcription of our conversation.
Stranger: Hey its ari did scotty find his altoids?
Me: I dunno
S: Are you guys still at his place?
M: Oh, I've been home for ages.
S: Well i asked everyone to empty their pockets no one has anything
M: Well what am I supposed to do about it?
S: I will fix it when i get back
M: He needs to get over it.
At this point I went to bed, and when I woke up there were texts saying "Get over what?" "???" "Who is this?"
I didn't respond, but I was pretty disappointed that it unraveled so fast. Still, it was fun while it lasted.