Saturday, July 28, 2012

Bountiful Baskets

Are you familiar with Bountiful Baskets? You contribute fifteen bucks (plus $1.50 for card processing/servers/etc and $3 if you're new, so $19.50 your first time and then $16.50, which is still a good deal.) and get fifty-ish worth of fruits and veggies. And for an extra $10 you can get organics but, eh, I'm too cheap to be that concerned. But you don't know what you'll get! It's like a box of healthy chocolates! And it's not just an Arizona thing! It appears to be huge in Utah, and I think it's in 16 states total. But it's not available in California--sorry friends--probably because of some cumbersome law? Cuz you know those hippies would be all over if they could.  I've known about it for a while, but I finally broke down and joined in this week.

As I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before, I'm particular about fruits and vegetables because I've got weird texture issues. But I am learning to eat more than I used to, so I thought maybe if I was forced to take them and figure something to do with them, I might try/learn to like more. And anyway, I can handle more in smoothies now (even strawberries! ...in limited amounts), and they say it takes seven exposures to something new for kids to like it, so surely I shouldn't give up on healthy things after trying them once.

The real driving factor, though, is that it's healthy food. If I'm working to eat my way through a basket of produce, I won't have as much room for eating half a bag of parmesan and garlic pita chips or a bowl of marshmallow caramel popcorn. I don't want to give up the foods I like--I like them! they make me happy!--but I certainly don't need to eat as much as I do. I've got a few pounds I'd like to lose, and surely eating more nutrient-dense, lower calorie foods is a good part of that. I'm not looking for a miracle. All I really want is to get to a point that I can fit all the clothes I already own. I could just buy bigger ones, but I'm already wearing my "fat" wardrobe, and if I buy another size up, where does it stop? When I'm washing myself with a rag on a stick because I can't reach around myself?
 
(in case you don't get that reference, which I use a lot)

Anyway, I just had a banana from my basket instead of the butter-drenched toast I normally have on Saturday mornings because I literally don't have time to make perfectly golden toast before I leave for work. So, you know. Already winning. And most of the stuff in this week's basket is stuff I like or can stand. I guess sometimes they get things people aren't familiar with or even recognize, but this is all pretty straightforward. To wit:

Nine bananas, three mangoes, bag of red grapes, bag of baby carrots, head of lettuce, two English cucumbers, ten red potatoes, one cantaloupe, two peaches, seven plums, red pepper, pint grape tomatoes. Really, a pretty good haul for the price.

I won't even bother trying to like red peppers, because that is a deep and abiding hatred. I could find something to do with the grape tomatoes, but I'm not going to eat a whole pint, so I think I'll keep a couple and give the rest to a friend. 

Anyway, yeah, isn't it exciting? I never have that much produce in the house. Now I just need to figure out what to do with the plums. Besides making a cake or tart or something. I guess that's still better than a fruit-less tart?


Thursday, July 12, 2012

texts from a stranger

You guys! I totally typed this up a month ago and didn't post it! I'm sorry! Enjoy.

I got a text from a wrong number. Rather than explaining that I had no idea what they were talking about, I decided to play along. The following is an exact transcription of our conversation.

Stranger: Hey its ari did scotty find his altoids?

Me: I dunno

S: Are you guys still at his place?

M: Oh, I've been home for ages.

S: Well i asked everyone to empty their pockets no one has anything

M: Well what am I supposed to do about it?

S: I will fix it when i get back

M: He needs to get over it.

At this point I went to bed, and when I woke up there were texts saying "Get over what?" "???" "Who is this?"

I didn't respond, but I was pretty disappointed that it unraveled so fast. Still, it was fun while it lasted.