Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What I lack in ambition I make up for in ability

My performance review was at work yesterday. It was very interesting. We spent only a few minutes talking about the actual goals of the evaluation and most of the time doing good ol' fashioned mentoring. We talked about career planning, finding what you want to do, doing it sooner than later, etc.

I was (kindly) scolded for not living up to my potential, not using all my talents. I go in and do my job well, but that's really all I do. I have no interest in becoming a leader, being groomed to be promoted or one day be a manager. I have zero ambition at this job. I know it, and it's pretty clear that my boss knows it.

She suggested considering what I love to do. What am I passionate about, and how can I turn that into a job? I love books. Really, really, love them. Reading them, talking about them, pretending that I'm capable of writing them....everything. And I interviewed today for a job doing admin stuff at a used bookstore--where you can use your free time at work to do other stuff in the store.And get a discount. On books! AND the store is right by my house! But there's one not-so-tiny problem: it would be a 30% pay cut, and we just can't afford that. sadface. sad panda. sad panda face.

So, goodbye to that specific version of the dream. And is there anything else I'm passionate about? I like to bake, but I don't think I love it enough to get up at 4 in the morning to bake for my own bakery. I like babies, but I'm not very good at producing them. Anyway, that doesn't really pay well.

Really, the thing I love best is books. I spent like, 20 minutes yesterday talking about the Hunger Games, and then another few minutes talking about it during my review. I want a job with books! And since I don't seem to have the ideas/self-discipline to become a moderately successful young-adult fiction novelist, I guess I'll just have to find a job that pays decent, isn't too soul-sucking, and leaves plenty of time for recreational reading.

Also, I need to get a (nother) library card. I'm so glad you can get Kindle books from the library...between that and Safeway grocery delivery, I never need leave the house again.

6 comments:

  1. Husband just got his performance review -6 PAGES - and signed it and gave it to HR without reading it. Ugh. performance reviews. I'm not actually good enough at anything to get paid enough to afford my rock n roll lifestyle either. You could own a bookstore? I hear there's TONS of dough in printed media these days!

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    1. They forced us to rate ourselves. I just put "met expectations" for everything.

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  2. It would require more school, but you could be a librarian. Tarzan reads a lot of books, organizes those same books, holds book club meetings to talk about books. He makes a decent amount of money at it too.

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    1. That would be dreamy, of course--my mum is an elementary school librarian--but there's already an oversupply of people with an MLS, and it seems like everyone is trying to eliminate librarian positions, not create them. :(

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  3. I know a few librarians if you wanted to explore that route. Also, Eric kind of liked being an editor. And what about grad school in something English-y? There are teaching options even if you just had a master's degree, and then you could fill young minds with your worldview.

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    1. I think being an editor would be fun, but it seems kind of hard to break in, no? Or maybe I just give up too easily.

      I do definitely want a masters, and maybe even to teach, but that seems so far away. We really need to focus on getting Adam a bachelors, and I don't want to take out loans to do it simultaneously. I guess I could try taking up tutoring; I did quite enjoy my stint in college as a writing tutor.

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Be nice.