Friday, January 13, 2012

Notes from the gym

So, exercising is going pretty well. By "well," I mean consistently. I can't say I genuinely enjoy it. Well, no, I do, just not necessarily while I'm doing it. I discovered this site, Reluctant Runners, from one of their funny (unrelated) videos on youtube, and I very much agree with their philosophy. For example, I much as I "like" run in yoga pants. Regular length shorts. etc.

Speaking of gym attire...can we just all agree that panty lines are okay at the gym? Because c'mon. We're exercising. Our hair looks bad, makeup is smeared or gone (remind me to get some makeup removing wipes...I really prefer to exercise without makeup) and we're sweating. Sweating a lot, sometimes. Like you look at yourself in the walls and walls of mirrors and think "Whoa, did I spill my water?" And that's a good thing! You shouldn't have to worry about how you look while exercising! You certainly shouldn't have to wear highly uncomfortable underwears at the gym. Unless you're one of those crazy people who find them comfortable? Anyway at the point I can see your thong lines through your shorts and oversized tee, the purpose is kind of missed.

This picture has been going around a lot lately, and I wish it was true, but I don't even feel that graceful:

But, but, there's also this. THIS is how I feel when I run:

"Nurse, cancel my one o'clock."

I do enjoy the gym, though, my general unfitness notwithstanding. I kind of feel like some sort of gym anthropologist, observing interesting behaviors and trends. (My friend had a professor or something who was an exercise anthropologist. Crazy!) I make all these amusing observations--for example, what does it say about you if you're a middle-aged lady wearing a Jagermeister tank top to the gym? That seems more like a...pajama shirt. Hair coloring shirt. A "I'm not an alcoholic, really" shirt. I needed somewhere to chronicle these amusing thoughts...Hence the new box in the sidebar, with my gym-related twitter feed. I can't imagine anyone would actually want to read an entire feed of my thoughts from the gym, but they're there if you want them.

Anyway, I like to imagine that I'm seeing tiny results. It's only been two weeks, so it's not like a miracle has happened, but...I can pretend. I put a little star on my pocket calendar each day I go to the gym. It's kind of nice, all those lines of stars. Maybe when I get thirty stars, I'll get myself a prize. Hey, I should make a sticker chart! Every day, I could put a little smiley face sticker on it. That would be fun.

I'm starting to feel like a real athlete in at least one regard...I've got my first injury! I got on the treadmill today and was like "WHOA, what's wrong with my toe?!" It felt like the whole joint was broken or out of socket or something. But, like the true athlete I am, I soldiered through it, until it either went away or I stopped noticing it. Of course, then I got home and saw this:

What the heck happened to my toe?! Maybe I tied my shoe too tight or something today? It's never happened before, and the other toe is fine. Maybe I need new shoes; I'm not a huge fan of my current ones. But still. Woo for injuries?

So, there you have it. Two weeks into the year, two weeks into my new year's resolution, still going--even if I'm not particularly strong....

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


I don't generally make new year's resolutions, but I think I kind of had to do this one. I did keep it intentionally vague, so that I have a chance of achieving it. I've gotten a little pudgy lately (like, get out the box of clothes that used to be ludicrously overlarge, because they're the only ones that fit now) and I pestered my mom into getting me a 24 Hour Fitness membership for Christmas (two years prepaid from Costco works out to like, $13.33 a month!). And so, dear readers, my resolution this year is simply to lose enough weight that I don't have to buy new underwears. The waist is getting a bit pinchy, and there's nothing worse than ill-fitting undies. So as long as I lose enough weight that I can wear the clothes I already own, I'll consider it a success. Everything else is gravy. Calorie-free, metaphorical gravy.

It's a delicate thing, though, because it's so easy for me to become obsessive about what I weigh or how many calories I've eaten, and I very much don't want to start down that slippery slope. So as my boss called it today, I'm "releasing it to the universe," or what I call making peace. I don't care what I weigh, and I don't care what I eat--within reason. We went to YC's for "Mongolian" bbq today, which has to be at least 1000 delicious delicious calories, so I'mma have to have a more simple dinner. But I'm not going to obsess about it, nope. If I want a handful of "Hershey-ets" (knock off M&Ms) from my stocking, or a glass of Martinelli's before it goes flat, so be it. If I'm going to be crazy, I would prefer it be about something that matters.

So today is day two at the gym. Again, I don't want to overdo it in my enthusiasm. A little sore is fine, a bunch of sweat is great. But I don't want to push it so hard on my first week that I don't want to go back. Fabulous Husband had to work late (a suitable punishment for gloating about his two weeks paid holiday) so I stayed longer than yesterday, but still tried to keep it within my current limits. And then as my fitness improves, I can push it more.

Of course, the other problem is being patient for results. I mean I can't reasonably expect much change after two days. It took me longer than two days to reach this point (although honestly, I can gain weight so much faster than lose it...) so I guess I should at least give it a few weeks before I feel frustrated. I read something somewhere...Pinterest, probably...that it takes four weeks to notice a difference in yourself, eight weeks for others to notice, and...I forget the rest. Point is, be patient.

There's my resolution. It's also a money saver, too, because I have tons of clothes that don't fit and only a few that do, so losing weight would be like a whole new wardrobe again. Bonus!

Anyone else make a resolution?