"Your cholesterol is over 300! You're basically a solid!" Name that movie.
So my cholesterol isn't really that bad. Maybe 5 points high, overall. My triglycerides are sufficiently low, my HDL is sufficiently high--both good things. But my LDL is also a pinch high. My ratios are good, but my doctor suggests I take care of it now, lest it gets to the point that I need to medicate.
"Just lose five or ten pounds," she said. Yes, I'd like to do that anyway. Exercise may help some, although it's really more for raising HDL, which I don't need, strictly speaking. She suggested more fish, which is absolutely not an option. I'd rather take cholesterol-lowering drugs my whole life. I can't really reduce the amount of red meat I eat, unless I went to zero. I really don't eat that terribly, except that I don't get enough fruits and vegetables. But lots of whole grains, beans, etc. Sooo...I guess I'll just focus on more produce.
Except wait, that's not all. My calcium level is the lowest extreme of the acceptable range, meaning it probably dips below it. So I have to focus on dietary sources of calcium. But I'm supposed to avoid saturated fat, so it's not like I can start hitting the ice cream. Plus I'm occasionally lactose intolerant, and sometimes significantly so. You know what the best source of non-dairy is? Kale. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Low calcium levels often go with low vitamin D levels. So I have to go back to get that checked. It would make sense, since I generally avoid the sun as much as possible. According to the never-wrong internet, low vitamin D can cause muscle twitching. Muscle twitching! I have near-constant muscle twitches! Not consistently in one spot. It'll be like five twitches in my quad, three in my back, eight in my calf, and on and on, most of the day. I would love for that to stop. LOVE.
Um, yeah. So that's what happened at the doctor's today. At least they didn't just say "Everything is okay. You're fine!" I'm obviously not fine, or I wouldn't have gone in. Of course, I only went in because my husband made me. Husbands can be handy sometimes.