Friday, September 17, 2010

Unsolicited pregnant people advice

If you think someone might be pregnant, don't ask.  If they are pregnant and want to talk about it, they would have told you. If they aren't pregnant, you're going to look like an idiot and make someone feel fat. And possibly not ever wear that outfit again.

Admittedly, I have gained nearly ten pounds in the last several months.  It sucks, I know.  There's not really anywhere to put ten pounds on a person my height.  Sigh.

But Saturday night, I was wearing Spanx! And not an empire-waist dress, which apparently add five months of gestation to my frame.  But are so, so comfortable so I wear them anyway.  Point is I really didn't look pregnant.  Some lady overheard my mom say that she had two daughters pregnant, so this nice (but apparently not entirely skilled critical thinker) assumed that I was one of them.

Do I look pregnant? Would you naturally assume that because I got married nine months ago, it must be me who is pregnant?  Do not all the children in my family have names that start with C? Frankly, I'm not sure what that had to do with any of it, but that was part of her explanation as to why she just announced in front of a dozen or so people that my mom "let slip the secret" that I was pregnant.  She spent five minutes awkwardly trying to explain her assumption, when really the best thing would have been to apologize for the mix up and slink off to the cupcake table.  It's what I would have done, except that I'm smart enough not to ask people if they're pregnant.


  1. Her only excuse is that everyone who lives in Utah is preganant right?
    I know, they're stupid, and I have to agree; let's wait until we're told shall we?

  2. Yes, she definitely should have made her apology quick! Although I myself have been known to cram my foot down my throat instead of yanking it out of my mouth on more than one occasion.

    Anything said about one's physical appearance, good or bad, when one is already self-conscious about said appearance has the potential to cause detrimental effects. Case in point (albeit tangential): as I now approach my mid-30s (yikes!), I've realized more fully that I truly am no longer in my 20s, not even close. You might say I'm a bit self-conscious about my age, or at least about my aging. And lately I've either battled a drawn-out cold or am experiencing signs of seasonal allergies for the first time in my life. Upon seeing someone from church at the Walmart check-out line Thursday morning, I excused myself from not attending the weekly volleyball group from the night before as I explained that I have either a cold or allergies. This "young" mom of three (she's 26, I think) said matter-of-factly, "You know, a lot of times people who've never had any allergies suddenly get them when they're older. It's a sign of aging!" Well, maybe that's true. Maybe it was said in jest, but it didn't make it any easier to hear! That's it. I've made up my mind; it's definitely a cold!


Be nice.