Thursday, September 23, 2010

Let's decide now that my kids will hate me

Okay, so maybe they won't hate me.  But a friend sent me a link to the most ridiculous birthday party.  I'm going to tell you right now that if my kids ever have birthday parties that we invite friends to--mine were generally just cake with family, and I seem pretty well-adjusted--the parties are not going to look like this:

Guys, those aren't paper plates. Right there I'm disqualified.  I'm not serving tea sandwiches and pink lemonade on real dishes to a handful of kindergarteners!  And I'm certainly not making costumes and delivering them to the girls planning to attend so that we can all dress the part for the theme.

Looking around the rest of the blog, it's clear that this family has a bajillion dollars, and somehow a ridiculous amount of free time?  There are parties like this for everything!  The party after the baby blessing was fancier than anything related to my wedding!  (Not that I mind, because I do not do frills like that.)  A jillion treats, no doubt home-made?  Personalized water bottles?  It's just nuts.

Clearly this makes her happy, and good for her.  It doesn't appeal to me, although how on earth does a mother of three find time to have hair that long, and always perfectly styled?  That I wouldn't mind as much.  But I'd rather make a cake from a mix, shoot my family a text that we're going to Peter Piper Pizza for pizza and video games, and then spend the rest of my time doing something else.

So I guess I'll just have to keep my kids away from stuff like that.  If they never go to a frilly party, they'll never know that they should want one.  Although they shouldn't want one.  Although with my luck, they'll revolt against my simple aesthetic and insist everything have ribbons and bows.  Or hey, maybe I'll have all boys!

Don't forget to tell all your friends to buy my condo.


  1. That's wild.

    I'm jealous of her hair, though. Maybe it's fake.

  2. i ust love how you said bajillion! that made my morning.

    oh yeah and my mother insisted on having every party of my life like this. loved it. but of course what kid wouldn't? am i well adjusted? i dunno.

  3. You could throw parties like this... or you could send your kids to college! I'm just was blown away by this lady...

  4. Amy wins, that made me giggle. Why on earth would you spend so much energy on a party, when pizza, a movie and some streamers are AWESOME?? I'm pretty sure your kids will have good enough taste to care about such obvious wastes of energy.

  5. Well, that's not me either. It never will be. My dreams lie elsewhere...

  6. A bajillion dollars absolutely, but I also think shes just really good at faking it. Those "costumes" are ballet tutus with stuff hot glued on them and it's her manicured back yard that makes it look at special and everything.
    But still a rediculous amount of effort for a 5 year old's party. She won't even remember it in two years.


Be nice.