Friday, March 12, 2010

Dear So-and-So letters

Dear Penguin Classics,

I can understand making endnotes of the really not important "originally in the manuscript it said this" notes, but when it's super important "you probably don't speak French or know much about early 19th-century British theater" stuff, don't you think footnotes would be a lot more convenient?

Keeping my finger in the back of the book

Dear Old Navy,
How did I wind up on the Old Navy Maternity mailing list?  I'm nauseated, and maybe a little pudgier than usual, but I'm not pregnant.

I remain
Just fat, thanks

Dear Wall Street Journal,
I know that technically one can use "inaugural" as a noun, but it looks weird. If you don't have room for "inauguration," you probably should recast the sentence.  I know I would have.

Very truly yours,
But I'm sure you know best

Dear genetics,
Why couldn't I get my dad's hair color genes?  It was fun coloring my hair when I was younger, but now that I've been doing it for half my life, it's getting old.  I mean, I'm glad I have a way to color the ridiculous amount of gray hair, but it would be so much easier if I just didn't have the gray hair.  Thanks for nothing.

Yours in Mendel,
The one with all the gray roots

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Be nice.