Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Irrelevant tags

I was adding tags to some recent entries, and I realized, I'm going to have to retire the "living alone is" tag!  Boy will I miss living alone.  But can I tell you how nice it is to get home from work and walk into a vacuumed living room?  That I didn't vacuum?  It's pretty awesome.  Totally makes up for having some guy living in my house.

Also, I feel better about the world in a room that has recently been vacuumed.  Especially if I can see the vacuum lines.  I should vacuum more often.

In conculusion, vacuum is a funny word.

Why so secret?

I was responding to Reva's question about the secrecy, and it was getting so long, I figured I should give it its own entry.

First of all, I like to surprise people.  (Ask my family.)  The bigger the news, the better.  I like the reaction of springing incredibly big news on people.  Imagine what it will be like on Facebook when I randomly change my name one day.  Or post a wedding picture!  It will be great.  I'm sure it stems from some deep-seated need for power by controlling the information, but whatever.  It's fun.

Second, I hate bridal showers.  I hate the stupid cutesy games.  (The only thing worse are baby shower games.)  I don't want to give you a gumball every time I say Adam's name.  I don't want to surrender a clothespin every time I say "wedding" or "engaged" or whatever.  Even worse are the attempts at public humiliation, generally through overtly sexual channels.  And I certainly don't want my friends and wellwishers picking out my lingerie.  Bleck.  So the less notice people have before the wedding, the less likely they'll throw me a shower.  You want to go out to dinner with a bunch of girls?  I'm totally game for that.  But a traditional shower?  No thank you.

Third--and this is the actual and most important reason--is that FH is fairly recently divorced, and his ex-wife...uh...doesn't like the idea of me.  Adam and I had been dating less than a week when one of his Facebook friends mentioned it to her, and she went ballistic.  She called him at 11 p.m. (when he had to be up for work at 3:30) to bawl him out for having a girlfriend so soon after the divorce.  She claimed that we were dating when they were still married, etc.  Dude, I didn't even know him when they were married.  But who needs facts for a tirade? 

So we're trying to prevent word of the marriage from getting to her until after it has actually taken place.  I'm sure she'll still pitch a fit, but she'll be powerless to try to stop it or sabotage things.  And then hopefully she will just fade into the sunset, as she should have done months ago, anyway.

There you have it, the reasons for the secrecy.  I feel safe talking about it here, as I only have like, eight readers, and half of them are blood relatives.  Still, I would appreciate your discretion.

"Thanking you in advance,
"Bart Simpson."

P.S. Remember that picture I showed you the other day?  I might have cropped out a ring box.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Not-so-secret-anymore vacation pics

Well, everyone's favorite Rocketgirl has pointed me in a very promising direction for a new necklace, so here are the vacation photos I was referring to.  They're not available for public consumption elsewhere, by my decree.

First up--did you know that if you go to City Hall, just inside Disneyland, they have buttons for pretty much everything?  Birthday, first visit, family reunion, anniversary, and...


...just engaged.  It's great.  People congratulate you all the time.  On Finding Nemo, they were like "Welcome aboard voyagers! And on behalf of the crew of Finding Nemo Adventure, congratulations to the newly engaged couple."  It's awesome.  Every time we saw someone with a birthday button, we would wish them happy birthday, and they frequently would congratulate us.  Not only does everyone congratulate you, but...


...you get free stuff!  Alas, the light in the Blue Bayou isn't conducive to cell phone cameras (did I mention all these photos were taken with my awesome smart phone?) but that is free chocolate mousse with adorable Mickey-shaped sprinkles.  It was good.  The Future Husband didn't like it much, so I ate pretty much the whole thing.  Because there are no diets on vacation.

And finally, I leave you with this.  They really ought to redo the lighting, because surely people like to stand in front of this for pictures, and you can't really use a flash (or if you're like me, you never use a flash) and you end up looking shadowed and not pretty.  We're thinking about photoshopping in more attractive pictures of ourselves.


So there you have it.  The vacation pictures that you won't see on Facebook.

The internet knows everything, right?

Suppose you were going to be wearing a dress with polka dots, perhaps similar to these:


(yes, that is my waist) and you decided that you should wear pearls to echo the dots.  But you don't want normal small pearls, like you already own.  No, you want faux, big, almost gumball-sized pearls, almost the size of the dots themselves.  Where would you expect to get that necklace for a reasonable price?

Answer that, and I'll show you some super-secret pictures from my Disneyland vacation this past weekend.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

And that's it for the ground beef

People who know me may be aware that I have issues with ground beef.  It kind of creeps me out.  I've eaten some lately, but I can't claim to love it.  Then just now, I read something in The Week magazine, originally in the New York Times:
 Prepackaged ground beef and hamburger patties are an amalgam of various grades of meat from multiple slaughterhouses, contain heavily treated fatty scraps and trimmings, and sometimes are contaminated with cow feces. Most meat processors do not test each batch of burger for E. coli bacteria.
Awesome.  Just awesome.  And THAT, my friends, is why I only like whole cuts of meat.  Well, whole cuts of meat, and pepperoni.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Things that are stupid and people who are awesome

You know what I don't understand? Tourism taxes. They tend to tack them on to hotel fees. Presumably they are to fund tourism campaigns encouraging people to visit the city (or state). So...you're taxing me for doing the very thing that you WANT me to do? Isn't that kind of a disincentive? I'm being punished financially for spending my vacation money in that location. It just doesn't make any sense. And yet it's the perfect crime. I mean, it's not like I'm going to boycott Disneyland because of the tourism taxes. But I will complain about it on my blog.

And while I'm at it, you know what else sucks? Work! Mostly because everyone is out of town, so there's nothing for me to do. And yet there IS stuff for me to do at home. Like the linens that have been patiently waiting for the last two weeks for me to get around to folding. The dishwasher that needs to be emptied. The suitcase that needs to be packed. The carpet that needs to be vacuumed. The milk that needs to be bought. (Did I mention that we had cereal for dinner on Thursday, and it wasn't even my idea? Yeah, I picked a good one. Er, except he picked me.)

Because, really, who wants to do boring stuff like that when you've got someone like this to play with? As Reva says, it's way more fun than the Wii. And I love my Wii.

Adam dear

Remind me to show you the Photoshopped version of this later. I've got it on my work computer, so I've been trying to learn how to use it. I love that dodge tool.

The happy couple

Sorry I've been kind of AWOL lately. I think this picture explains it nicely.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

How clever


I would like to introduce you to my new phone in all it's white body, cobalt blue jack glory. Unfortunately, I can't really take a picture of my cell phone with my cell phone. It's so cute, though. Even better, it's a smart phone.

Oooh. Can we take a moment and let that sink in? Smart phone. Now I don't have to wait until I get back from lunch to check my Facebook friends list. Oh no! I can check it in the cafeteria! I can play Bubble Breaker in the bathroom--if I'm so inclined, which I am NOT--and surf the internet for interesting pictures to set as my wallpaper. People. You haven't lived until you have the power of the entire internet in your purse. Lolcats, everywhere I go! I never knew what living is until this day.

It's so great. Completely unnecessary and so great.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

GPOYW



Pretty much all of my readers are also Facebook friends, but if you're not, here's me on Saturday, off to the mall with Adam. Apparently I looked so stunning he couldn't not take a picture.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Review: Curtains

I realize most of my fair readers do not live along the Wasatch Front. But if you do, you have to go see the Hale Centre Theatre's production of Curtains. You guys! It is fabulous. On a very short-noticed whim, I went to see it last night. We liked it so much, we intend on going back to see the other cast. (The lead is single cast, and does an amazing job. Just AMAZING.)

If you're not familiar with the story--and you probably aren't--it's set in 1959 in a theater in Boston. Their show just got panned, and their lead just got murdered. So they're trying to revamp the show and solve the murder. Fortunately, the detective on the case is also a huge theater fan, and so naturally is able to do both.

There are lots of fun theater in-jokes, but it's still fun if you aren't a theater buff. There are a lot of great directing choices, like the scene in the middle of the night with everyone in pajamas. It's lit entirely by flashlights! One number includes a disco ball! It's just so much fun.

I would suggest you get seats on the west half of the theater; we couldn't see what was going on with the trap door. You still know what's going on, but I would have liked to have seen it.

Tangentially, sitting in different areas of the theater--in any theater, but especially at the Hale, which is in the round--gives you a totally different experience. Once in Arizona, we were seeing a show for the second time, but sitting on the opposite side of the auditorium, and suddenly we saw all these great things one of the actors had been doing. We hadn't been able to see him from the other side! Perhaps it wouldn't have happened in a more professional production (this was at the community college) but it certainly drove home the point.

Anyway. Curtains is funny and sweet and mysterious and you should go see it!

As a parting shot, here's my favorite song from the show, "I Miss the Music." Play them off, fellas.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I'm so tired I could puke

You don't realize how much you rely on the weekend to catch up on the sleep you consistently deprive yourself of during the week until you have to work all weekend. It's not like I want to be sleep deprived. I have long been utterly incapable of going to bed before midnight. It's a disability. I should get special accommodations at work for this problem.

I realize that working a 58 hour week is not the end of the world. Plenty of people routinely do more. Going twelve days without any time off is also a bit of a beast, but again, it could be worse. It's just that I'm so, so tired! And I have four more days of alarm clocking before I can finally sleep in. Sigh.

On the upside, I have that vacation to look forward to. I have someone to make staying up late more fun, rather than just sitting around reading My Life is Average. That's a huge plus. Not that I don't love MLIA, of course.

And I got to see my parents this weekend, which is always a good time. They are crazy in all the best ways. And hey, they like my boyfriend!

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'm going to Disneyland! ...eventually.

I have to wait three whole weeks before we go to Disneyland. People, I am not sure if I can make it that long. It doesn't matter that I've been there dozens of times; I love Disneyland.

I want a churro. I want to see the Space Mountain Ghost Galaxy!!! I want to go on Tower of Terror over and over and over. I want to stand and watch them make tortillas. (I am a sucker for stuff like that. "Unwrapped" is the perfect show for me.) I want to spend the weekend in long sleeves and a cardigan, not a wool coat. I want the freshest pineapple spears you will find on the mainland. I want to soar over California. I want to maybe doze off just a tiny bit during the Aladdin stage show. I want to stop at every souvenir stand and not buy anything. (Honestly, I've been to Disneyland so many times there's just not that much I'm willing to buy.) I want everything I eat to be shaped like Mickey Mouse. I don't want to work. (Well, I never do, but I certainly don't want to work this weekend, which is making Disneyland that much more appealing.)


And I want to stop for a minute and think about Walt. I've got a soft spot in my heart for the man behind the mouse. He did a lot of great things, and I think that--at least for the most part--he did them for the right reasons.