Tuesday, June 23, 2009

There is truth to the book "Homes, and other black holes."

I pretty much never save entries as drafts. I write and post them right then, usually without even spellchecking it. But this one needed pictures, so it's been quite the work in progress.

My family is coming up for a few days next month (next week?!) to help me with some household projects. I decided to make a visual list of the things I'd like to do, in roughly the order of importance (descending).

1. Bathroom fan.

My main bathroom's fan sounds roughly like a small plane. I don't mind that it's on the same switch as the light--it's probably the only way to consistently get me to use the fan when showering, especially in winter--but I do wish that I could hear the doorbell over it. So I'd like to have that replaced with a quieter fan.

The fan in the powder room is not whisper quiet, but it's not nearly as loud as the main bath. Besides, a little white noise in the powder room is not necessarily a bad thing. Verdict: that fan can stay.

2. Mirror.

This is easy enough to hang. I'm mostly lazy. I did hang my lights myself, though, and did an uneven enough job of it (not so bad that I feel compelled to fix it, though) that I figure I should let an expert do it. Also, I don't love screwdriving on a step ladder.

3. Lights.

I have owned a chandelier for...nearly four years? It's time to put it up. Also, I hate the light that is currently in my entry way. I just don't love oil-rubbed bronze. It matches the light in the dining room, though, which I have posted a picture of before but am too lazy to re-post and want to replace with something from IKEA. Either this one, which totally looks like some sort of fairy crown (Robert Sean Leonard as Puck in "Dead Poet's Society," anyone?) or one of a couple other possibilities:
Whether or not that goes in the dining room hinges entirely on whether or not I put a ceiling fan in my bedroom. I don't think I really need it, and how fabulous would that light be with some mosquito netting over it? It would be just like I wanted as a kid. Plus...no mosquito bites while you sleep.

The other lights I'm considering for the dining room aren't found on the IKEA website and I don't know the product name, so...no pictures there.

This is the point where my priorities get a little muddled. Since we're talking about ceiling fans, we'll say that's next.

4. Ceiling fan.

The living room definitely needs a ceiling fan. It gets pretty warm upstairs, but downstairs remains quite cool. Some air circulating would help. Also, the convention of not putting overhead lights in the formal living room is ridiculous. So I want this one: I'll have to ask the neighbors about where the attic access is, because it's not in my place.

Man, this post is getting long. Pressing on.

5. Curtain rail.

If you'll recall from the picture of my food storage from months ago, it's kind of just sitting there:

Bleck. So I want put in a three-track curtain rail so I can hang panel curtains. Also from IKEA. Well, I really want these high-gloss red cabinets, but it would cost about 35 times more than putting in the panel curtains. So curtains it is. And I can swap out the panels as the mood strikes me! Although, judging on how often I change the designs on my lights (also from IKEA, natch, though now discontinued), it doesn't strike often.

(And since we're going to IKEA, I need another book shelf, which I want to put outside the bedrooms. I haven't entirely decided what doors to get, but I'll certainly get doors. I like being able to hide stuff. This needs to be obtained while my family is here, as it's too long for my car and frigging no one owns a truck here. But I can put it together later if needs be.)

6. Retaining wall.

Remember my lonely tulips? And my weed garden?

I want to rip out that concrete border and put in a retaining wall. Make a raised bed. I held off on landscaping it because I wanted the wall, and if I planted a rose bush and then raised the soil level six to ten inches...well, I figured it was just easier to wait.

7. Utility closet door.

The door to my water heater closet doesn't open all the way. I assume it's because there used to be linoleum and they put in tile, which is considerably thicker. So the door needs to be brought up just a tad at the bottom. It's not critical, but it is certainly annoying.

8. Hosepipe, which is technically the hose and not the faucet, but hosepipe sounds more fun.

I don't know how easy it is to fix, or if I should find a plumber to do it. A lot of people are getting the faucet put in off their kitchen water line, but I think it might be a little high for me. I am, as I like to say, A TINY LITTLE WOMAN. It would be swell if we could just fix this one. I could always call a plumber, if it exceeds the general abilities of my father. But honestly, what can't he do?

I did turn it on with needle nose pliers (the solution to 50% of your problems, my friends, is needle nose pliers), but as it is lacking a handle, it lost quite a bit of water from where the handle should be. So I used a bucket to catch that water and made do with the limited water pressure in the hose. Blah.

9. Ironing board cabinet.

My parents have in their massive bathroom/closet compound (which is approximately half the size of my entire condo) a lovely cabinet that happens to contain an ironing board. In the words of the lady on Napoleon Dynamite, "I want that." I'm not sure what installing it entails, or if it's possible where I want to put it, but it is certainly worth investigating. This one looks nice. I'm considering getting the shelves and ironing board cabinet in white. It solves a lot of problems for me, and it's cheaper.

10. Ceiling lights.

I have a lot of ugly, so-called "boob lights" that I would like to replace with some less-ugly lights, possibly of the not-boob variety.

Oh, and I have some windows missing screens, but that's not overly critical. We'll not number it, so as to avoid the dreaded prime numbers. Shelves in the garage can wait, too. All that's really left is things like "organize the cord jungle and set up the Tivo." Hey, Mom and Dad! Can I have your Tivo?


  1. We already told them about the Tivo. They don't know where the cords/cables are, but I think Bryan is looking into replacements.

    That is quite a list! They'll only be there a few days! However, it will save Dad from going to the Quilted Bear, and if you hide your laptop, you can get the boys to help. Wish we could be there too!

  2. There's a reason why I prioritized! And it looks much longer than it is. I mean, how long does it take to hange a mirror or screw in a curtain rail?

  3. Needle-nosed pliers, duct tape and WD-40 can fix everything.

  4. And baling twine/wire. Don't forget baling wire.


Be nice.