Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
3 c. watermelon juice
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Have you seen these utterly obnoxious "1 rule" ads? There's always a before and after picture. Sometimes just of guts, sometimes with heads chopped off, frequently clearly photoshopped...Well, it got me thinking. How often do we see before and after photos like this:
Think about it. The only thing consistent in every before/after is that they're not smiling in the first one, and they are in the second! Apparently a smile makes you look 15 pounds lighter! A tan and makeup also help, but it's the absence of the scowl that really does it.
In other news, I hate the "1 rule" ads and am very sick of them. I don't want to see anyone's fat gut, and frankly I can't think of anyone who does. If anything, it makes me not want to click on it, because I don't want to encourage them. I've got one rule for them: don't put shirtless guts in your advertisements.
I'm so sad that I had to say that. What has become of our civilization?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
My family is coming up for a few days next month (next week?!) to help me with some household projects. I decided to make a visual list of the things I'd like to do, in roughly the order of importance (descending).
1. Bathroom fan.
My main bathroom's fan sounds roughly like a small plane. I don't mind that it's on the same switch as the light--it's probably the only way to consistently get me to use the fan when showering, especially in winter--but I do wish that I could hear the doorbell over it. So I'd like to have that replaced with a quieter fan.
The fan in the powder room is not whisper quiet, but it's not nearly as loud as the main bath. Besides, a little white noise in the powder room is not necessarily a bad thing. Verdict: that fan can stay.
This is easy enough to hang. I'm mostly lazy. I did hang my lights myself, though, and did an uneven enough job of it (not so bad that I feel compelled to fix it, though) that I figure I should let an expert do it. Also, I don't love screwdriving on a step ladder.
I have owned a chandelier for...nearly four years? It's time to put it up. Also, I hate the light that is currently in my entry way. I just don't love oil-rubbed bronze. It matches the light in the dining room, though, which I have posted a picture of before but am too lazy to re-post and want to replace with something from IKEA. Either this one, which totally looks like some sort of fairy crown (Robert Sean Leonard as Puck in "Dead Poet's Society," anyone?) or one of a couple other possibilities:
Whether or not that goes in the dining room hinges entirely on whether or not I put a ceiling fan in my bedroom. I don't think I really need it, and how fabulous would that light be with some mosquito netting over it? It would be just like I wanted as a kid. Plus...no mosquito bites while you sleep.
The other lights I'm considering for the dining room aren't found on the IKEA website and I don't know the product name, so...no pictures there.
This is the point where my priorities get a little muddled. Since we're talking about ceiling fans, we'll say that's next.
4. Ceiling fan.
The living room definitely needs a ceiling fan. It gets pretty warm upstairs, but downstairs remains quite cool. Some air circulating would help. Also, the convention of not putting overhead lights in the formal living room is ridiculous. So I want this one: I'll have to ask the neighbors about where the attic access is, because it's not in my place.
Man, this post is getting long. Pressing on.
5. Curtain rail.
If you'll recall from the picture of my food storage from months ago, it's kind of just sitting there:
Bleck. So I want put in a three-track curtain rail so I can hang panel curtains. Also from IKEA. Well, I really want these high-gloss red cabinets, but it would cost about 35 times more than putting in the panel curtains. So curtains it is. And I can swap out the panels as the mood strikes me! Although, judging on how often I change the designs on my lights (also from IKEA, natch, though now discontinued), it doesn't strike often.
(And since we're going to IKEA, I need another book shelf, which I want to put outside the bedrooms. I haven't entirely decided what doors to get, but I'll certainly get doors. I like being able to hide stuff. This needs to be obtained while my family is here, as it's too long for my car and frigging no one owns a truck here. But I can put it together later if needs be.)
6. Retaining wall.
Remember my lonely tulips? And my weed garden?
I want to rip out that concrete border and put in a retaining wall. Make a raised bed. I held off on landscaping it because I wanted the wall, and if I planted a rose bush and then raised the soil level six to ten inches...well, I figured it was just easier to wait.
7. Utility closet door.
The door to my water heater closet doesn't open all the way. I assume it's because there used to be linoleum and they put in tile, which is considerably thicker. So the door needs to be brought up just a tad at the bottom. It's not critical, but it is certainly annoying.
8. Hosepipe, which is technically the hose and not the faucet, but hosepipe sounds more fun.
I don't know how easy it is to fix, or if I should find a plumber to do it. A lot of people are getting the faucet put in off their kitchen water line, but I think it might be a little high for me. I am, as I like to say, A TINY LITTLE WOMAN. It would be swell if we could just fix this one. I could always call a plumber, if it exceeds the general abilities of my father. But honestly, what can't he do?
I did turn it on with needle nose pliers (the solution to 50% of your problems, my friends, is needle nose pliers), but as it is lacking a handle, it lost quite a bit of water from where the handle should be. So I used a bucket to catch that water and made do with the limited water pressure in the hose. Blah.
9. Ironing board cabinet.
My parents have in their massive bathroom/closet compound (which is approximately half the size of my entire condo) a lovely cabinet that happens to contain an ironing board. In the words of the lady on Napoleon Dynamite, "I want that." I'm not sure what installing it entails, or if it's possible where I want to put it, but it is certainly worth investigating. This one looks nice. I'm considering getting the shelves and ironing board cabinet in white. It solves a lot of problems for me, and it's cheaper.
10. Ceiling lights.
I have a lot of ugly, so-called "boob lights" that I would like to replace with some less-ugly lights, possibly of the not-boob variety.
Oh, and I have some windows missing screens, but that's not overly critical. We'll not number it, so as to avoid the dreaded prime numbers. Shelves in the garage can wait, too. All that's really left is things like "organize the cord jungle and set up the Tivo." Hey, Mom and Dad! Can I have your Tivo?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Flight of the Conchords - Jenny
"Issues (Think About It, Think, Think About It)
"The kids take after her in that sense." AWESOME.
If you found those funny, be sure to check out "The Most Beautiful Girl" and "I'm Not Crying." Definitely worth your time.
I also mentioned the bathtub buckets for babies, which can be found at Bathed with Love. If nothing else, get the apron towel. It's genius. I find the towel capes kind of silly, but whatever floats your boat.
And last but not least, the Barack Roll:
It's not the good version, but apparently that one got disabled. Boo.
Anything else that I missed from this weekend?
Friday, June 19, 2009
It's hard to come up with content when my life tends to be a lot of little variations on the same theme. Cardigan or pullover. Flats or heels. Store-brand Corn Chex or Honey Nut Cheerios (no impostors). Egg salad or chicken salad for lunch. Honestly, I can barely remember what I had for lunch this week. I know I had Quaker "dinosaur egg" oatmeal and a yogurt yesterday. Can't get any further back than that.
But you know what I did on Saturday? I went to see "The Proposal." "But that doesn't come out until today," you say. Yes, that's true. Well spotted. But there was a sneak preview last week.
If you're wondering if you should see it, my answer is...weeeeeell, that depends. If you love
Ryan Reynolds (whose full name usually escapes me, because he is so nondescriptly attractive and hasn't ever really distinguished himself) does an admirable job. He does deer-in-the-headlights pretty well, and gets some good laughs. ("Hence the boat.") Perhaps romcoms have found the heir apparent to Hugh Grant, who seems to have moved on, for the most part. Between "The Proposal" and "Definitely, Maybe" a few years ago, Ryan Reynolds seems to be angling for the job. (And as a side note, can I say that the title of "Definitely, Maybe" ruined the ending? It wasn't a bad movie, but they should have named it something else.)
Bottom line: Matinee. Probably not worth paying full price.
Question: Should I put it on my car?
Fact: I drive a 2003 Altima.
Question: Is the bumper so unsually shaped as to discourage sticker placement?
Fact: My mind--if not my body--is already weekending.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
If the tonic water doesn't work, I guess there's a new prescription medication for muscle twitching. I'd rather just figure out why I'm twitching and solve it that way, y'know?
Incidentally, did you know that quinine, which used to be the primary treatment for malaria, is made from cinchona? When I read that, I was like, "OOOOOH. That's why the Inca king wanted some cinchona!" It would have been nice if MECC could have explained that a little better. Or maybe I was so intent on photographing wild animals and fishing that I missed the more educational aspects of the game. I always skipped the little intro video, which is probably when they explained the setup. But I still say "The Inca king is pleased with your success. He would also like you to bring him...some cinchona" and "You have passed through a blue mist to another time and place." Do you realize how few people in my life have played the Amazon Trail? I'm sure I sound like an idiot. I frequently do.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Do you ever feel like you spend all your time waiting? I'm waiting for someone to send me the forms I need to finish entering payroll (for the ENTIRE department now, lucky me!). I'm waiting for tomorrow to see the sneak preview of "The Proposal." Waiting for new episodes of favorite TV shows, for food to cook, for commercials to be over, for things to arrive in the mail (cast iron skillet and French butter dish, yo!) Waiting for work to be over, for people to have babies so I can play with them, for the light to change, for Scarlet Pimpernel to open at the Hale, for pages to load, for songs to download, for the dryer to finish, for my nails to dry. Waiting for warmer weather, for cooler weather, for rain, for sun. Waiting for a trip to Disneyland, for someone to open a Bahama Buck's here, for the sale to start at JoAnn, for a check to clear, for a paycheck to deposit, for a good concert to come to town. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Always waiting.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Think about the changes she saw in her lifetime. She went from covered wagons to cars. Electricity! Indoor plumbing! Telephones! Television! ("What's a re-run?") It's crazy to think of the things that came about during the course of her life.
It makes me wonder if people will think that about my lifetime. Well, I do remember a time before the internet, when we had to look things up in encyclopedias to write research papers, instead of just ripping of Wikipedia.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Please stay tuned.
This game has been rain delayed.
Please allow 20 minutes. [For soufflés...I think pizookies are fifteen?]
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming after this important announcement.
...If you can guess what Blink 182 lyric I'm thinking of right now, you win a prize.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I recently--as in, within the last hour or so--discovered Everything is Terrible! They have some awesomely bad videos ("Give yourself over to romance and glamour" and "My magical self is elvin," for example). This song, though. I remember this song! I laughed till I cried, watching this. EiT! titled it "Stand Tall Stand Proud, Fred Savage." Whatever happened to him? He had that one office show as an adult that was pretty funny.
Anyway, if you've already checked today's Cake Wrecks, lolcats, Cute Overload, or whatever it is that gets you through the day, check out some Everything is Terrible! Because if everything is terrible, then nothing is.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I have to assume that she's just jealous because she has enormous clown-shoe feet. Is size six really that ridiculous?
I wear a six. I didn't used to. I'm pretty sure there's some vanity sizing going on in shoes these days. It's clearly going on in clothing. (Twice, now, I've had to try on smaller sizes until I ended up at a four. I don't care WHAT the cut is, I'm just not a size four.) It never occurred to me that they would be doing it in shoes, too, until a friend suggested it. It makes sense. Most of my old shoes in six and a half still fit. I think my feet have shrunk a little, but not THAT much. And I was talking to another friend, and she's noticed the same trend.
What about you? Are you inexplicably wearing a smaller shoe size than you used to?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
But, my friend Lisa had set her DVR to record any new episodes, and there it was, like a little piece of gold hidden in a pile of stinky pyrite. So last night I went over and we watched it. It was so great, but also so sad. Because there are only two more episodes, and it's like waiting for someone to die. Unless they magically un-cancel it. Or if some other network un-cancels it, like ABC did with "Scrubs." (Really? People still watch that? I thought there were some serious diminishing returns on the funny the last few years.) But "Pushing Daisies" was still fresh and clever. And there were still so many stories to pursue. WHY MUST THEY TOY WITH ME LIKE THIS?
So, yeah. Maybe you can find the latest "Pushing Daisies" on Hulu or ABC's site. And if you've never watched it, it's time to start.